Keeping it real.

Went to work today for two classes and then off to the oncologist.  SO here is the nitty gritty. 
On April 11th I will begin  a 24 week chemo/radiation series.  I will begin will chemo.  1 every three weeks for The plan is to start on a Thursday (wednesday the first time) with a 5 hour coctailOchemo then I have the honor of return to the site for an injection to increase my white blood cell counts the next day.  21'2 week rest and we do it again.  I could get up and go get the medication list but that would require me to ----Get up so--maybe tomorrow. I will be bald by week 3.   The way I am choosing to look at this is that I will be doing chemo and rad. for far less time than a pregnancy.  I will have many of the same side effects minus the hair.  


Bumps:  well today was bumpy- my skin itches very badly, yet if I scratch or rub it at all it burns-I don't want anything touching me!  I am kind of scared and sad.  Both boys did not have good showings at the ball park so means it is a moody baseball evening in the home--I am just trying to take cover.


Battles:  Hey, it is happening, the hard part is starting soon.  It was a hard day,  It is hard to hear everything that is going to happen to you in detail.  Oh and reconstruction has to wait for a very long time.


Blessings:  I may have to dig a little deeper today-
John had a good day on the mound
Got some very sweet emails from students today
Got to speak to a man who is really fighting for his life and all I wanted to do was hug him.  That is when it hit me---oh heck- I am fighting too!
This one will be silly but I had just enough time to get the food for the baseball kids in the oven, and to the field before the game started- did not think I would make it.
I am humbled by peoples kindness.


I am going to try to sleep tonight-- hopefully my attitude will be much improved tomorrow- seriously this emo stuff is depressing.