Went to work today and stayed the whole day- I consider that a great accomplishment. One week, seven days after having my dear friends removed I stood in front of 14-17 year old completely exposed. Trust me, if you want honesty- they will give it to you. I got all my hair cut off. This way their attention would be on my hair not the missing parts but, what I felt; what I truly felt- was that they were happy to have me back. They only had a sub for 3 days and yet I think they felt as I did that it was an eternity. I am completely honest with them and no question is off limits so I got everything from- so can you walk around your house with no shirt on and it still be appropriate to Seriously, there is a lab in the hospital that cryogenically stores nipples? The answers are inappropriate no- awkward YES! and yes hospitals do have such rooms. All in all a good day- but I was so tired when I got home I took a two hour nap and I am ready to sleep again. It felt good to be back.
With all my day it seems a little unimportant now because I have a few students facing very difficult times. I want them to know how much I care for them and that I am here for them. Also, my dear aunt lost her companion of 30 plus years yesterday and today was her funeral. I am so broken for her. Aunt Elaine- I love you!
Bumps: nervous about meeting with the oncologist tomorrow
battles: the above and I know and it is ever present that the simple part of my journey is over and hard part is starting. It seems that breast cancer is a self possessed demon child. First it takes your breast and screws with your self confidence and then it kicks you while your down- and yet- I feel pretty even breast-less. Truly- aside from the pain I don't miss them----today.
Students were happy to see me, made me feel special.
I went to work today--did you hear that--I went to work today.
I got so many complements for my hair today- maybe should have done it earlier.
God is so amazing that the peace I am feeling is abnormal. I am a walking example of "peace that passes all understanding". So much scripture that refreshes my soul to the deepest level. Psalms 23- heck almost all the Psalms. There is such imagery there- and the ones I was thinking David was running for his life-several times and he knew exactly where his strength came from- and so do I. My wish is that I can hear my Savior say "you are a friend of mine" just as He did with David.
Thank you to all my friends that made me feel gorgeous today. Thank you for my forever and always friends.
I love you all.