Thursday, March 29, 2012

A new do!

Went to work today and stayed the whole day- I consider that a great accomplishment.  One week, seven days after having my dear friends removed I stood in front of 14-17 year old completely exposed.  Trust me,  if you want honesty- they will give it to you.  I got all my hair cut off.  This way their attention would be on my hair not the missing parts but, what I felt; what I truly felt- was that they were happy to have me back.  They only had a sub for 3 days and yet I think they felt as I did that it was an eternity.  I am completely honest with them and no question is off limits so I got everything from- so can you walk around your house with no shirt on and it still be appropriate to Seriously, there is a lab in the hospital that cryogenically stores nipples?  The answers are inappropriate no- awkward YES! and yes hospitals do have such rooms.   All in all a good day- but I was so tired when I got home I took a two hour nap and I am ready to sleep again.  It felt good to be back.

With all my day it seems a little unimportant now because I have a few students facing very difficult times.  I want them to know how much I care for them and that I am here for them.  Also, my dear aunt lost her companion of 30 plus years yesterday and today was her funeral.  I am so broken  for her.  Aunt Elaine- I love you!

Bumps:  nervous about meeting with the oncologist tomorrow

battles:  the above and I know and it is ever present that the simple part of my journey is over and hard part is starting.  It seems that breast cancer is a self possessed demon child.  First it takes your breast and screws with your self confidence and then it kicks you while your down- and yet- I feel pretty even breast-less. Truly- aside from the pain I don't miss them----today.

Students were happy to see me, made me feel special.
I went to work today--did you hear that--I went to work today.
I got so many complements for my hair today- maybe should have done it earlier.
God is so amazing that the peace I am feeling is abnormal.  I am a walking example of "peace that passes all understanding".  So much scripture that refreshes my soul to the deepest level.  Psalms 23- heck almost all the Psalms.  There is such imagery there- and the ones I was thinking David was running for his life-several times and he knew exactly where his strength came from- and so do I.  My wish is that I can hear my Savior say "you are a friend of mine"  just as He did with David.   

Thank you to all my friends that made me feel gorgeous today.  Thank you for my forever and always friends.  
I love you all.

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