Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I am made new

 I am amazed at what our surgeons  can do.  Less than 36 hours ago I was somewhere in limbo land.  I did not know what exactly my prognosis was but I knew I was OK regardless.  Now, I know I am OK.  I know it is not stage 3, that with the removal of my lymph nodes and breast my outcome looks much brighter.  Don't get me wrong, I am not walking in the cloud of oblivion.  I know I still have a very hard journey, possibly radiation,  chemo along with some targeted therapy, but, the future has not looked brighter.  I can say I have be made a new. God is all sufficient.  I have been covered with prayer since the day of my birth and I know that He has always held me tightly. I am not able to express in words how I felt every prayer.  When I was going under, I know I head God say- I am here-I will not leave you or forsake you. I can't explain it-I just know that His presence was definitely in that room.  
  I had comedic nurses, and an anesthesiologist was a prankster. Instead of the count backwards from 10- he says count backwards from 3027 by 27's.  When I said you owe me 3 grand everyone laughed and then it was lights out.  I don't know about you guys but that is the moment that I am the most frightful. I really had a hard time coming to- I know I had a conversation about my tattoo.  But, I don't remember much other than Doug coming in and kissing me and telling me that it was all going to be OK.  By the time I was in the room it was 8:30- I was soooooo hungry.  My family knows how I get when I get when I am hungry so of course Doug and Mom rushed to get me a sandwich and an orange.  I then finished off a pear, and apple and so much water and then I had the realization that I would be up all night in the bathroom and I was connected to the IV and the sexy  massage boots.  This is a dangerous proposition. Then I look and all my wristbands and I notice the one that says- falling risk on a fluorescent yellow band.  Really?  Falling Risk- how insulting.  however when I stood up for the first time- yep you got it- my center of gravity has changed.  A LOT.  

Bumps:  I don't sit still and I get bored quickly.  To all my students- It will be shocking for you but I was NOT a model student.  The next 3 or 4 weeks might be difficult.

Battles:  Maybe I should not have looked in the mirror.  It is quite shocking, but not disturbing.  It is the difference between life and death and I chose life. It really is pretty simple.

Blessings:  Again, so many.  A wonderful dinner from Christine tonight, Doug who brought me a starbucks because he knew the hospital coffee would not do.  My dad who prays beautifully and always prays his heart.  A son who text me just to say I love you.  So many people who pray and pray big - I have known that many students, coworkers, and friends that have left such a deep impact on my soul, I am humbled by the fact that I have touched you in the same way.  I love you all so much.  I am glad that God has placed you  in my life. I am blessed, blessed, blessed.  


  1. Keep it up, brave woman! You never stop amazing me. Will keep on praying.

  2. Welcome to the other side, Liesa -- you're on the road to recovery!

    FYI, when I had my surgery 11 years ago, they found 15 nodes that were "grossly positive" for cancer. Scary, yes, but here I am now--11 years later--enjoying life, rooting for my boys at their baseball games, and sending prayers, positive energy, and healing vibes your way.

    Keep up the good fight!