Panic!

If you have been following you know that I have run a low grade fever for a few days. I have not been at work, I did however make it to the boys baseball game for a little- but that is all I had.  For the past 2 days my drain output doubled and  I had a lump under my arm about the size of a lemon, so doing what you do, I called the doctor. I know these are not good things- hence the call.  Saw him today.  We did the small talk- how you feeling to which today I said- I feel crappy.  This caught him by surprise because generally I am pretty upbeat. Then he did the check- He opens my robe (remember modesty means absolutely nothing to me now) and I saw panic on his face.   Doctors, particularly surgeons are good at disguising this- no today buddy-I think I heard an expletive come out of his mouth. His words were- that red mark?  since this morning I said. There was what seemed like an eternity of silence (probably 30 seconds)- that is staff infection, we have 24 hours to treat you and if you are not receptive to the antibiotic I give you within that time we are admitting you.  He turned and left the room.  I could hear him on the phone with my oncologist (who is across the hall) along with the words- Cipro won't touch that. I can only assume he was upset that on Friday when I called with a fever, she called something in, not insisted on seeing me and prescribing Cipro.  So Long story short, I am officially immuno suppressed and have a staff infection.  If I am not better by Friday morning I will be admitted (to the hospital not the psyche ward).  
I am glad that it is being address quickly but- I saw panic.  Now I realize I have pretty good people skills and I pick up on things pretty quickly but panic is not what I expected.  Now I am panicked...thanks a lot.  I was told not to do anything (1 step short of bed rest).  Great, lesson plans for two days.  For those of you who are not teachers, let me assure you that the last thing teachers want to do is be absent- it is twice as much work.   This is just another bump- hahaha- I have a bump where my bumps used to be.


bumps:  I am sick. Really sick and I have lesson plans to write..
battles:  Did you know that 1:5 people that have surgery end up getting a staff infection and generally the only place to infect yourself is the hospital.  I think my biggest battle right now is that I am weak and having to admit that is difficult.  


blessing: I got the most beautiful gerber daises from Janell today.  My most favorite flower of all time.  I took a most excellent trip with her through yellowstone (miserably cold) but such a great trip.
I have a doctor with urgency.  He is making me panic, but it is better than a lackadaisical attitude. 
I was going to drive myself to the doctor today and I just could do it- so Doug did.  He is pretty awesome that way.  On Monday, I got a beautiful chain that had the word "brave" on it from friends in the office and it makes me feel that way.  
I know to most of you this would not seem like a blessing but I was in and out of SAMS in 20 minutes and under 150.


Well folks- I am going to write some lesson plans
I love you all