No, really I am pulling my hair out and it doesn't hurt. My goal was to shave my head (al estillo Brittany Spears) before the prom and show up with a 3guard burr cut. with some phenomenal earning I found on clearance. Well, that did not happen. Let me catch up up with what I do know (because Doctors are cryptic). I know that Friday I was admitted to the hospital. They did not know what was wrong but I had run a fever for 5 days (bad when on chemo). So no broad spectrum antibiotics for me lets jump to Vacomyacin for starters while we try to determine what the heck is going on. I got a new member on my team, his name is Dr. Wang and he is an infectious disease specialist. so right now I have a cutter, druggie,plastics,and now a germ on my team (surgeon, oncologist,contour specialist, and infectious disease). I should be honored but I would really rather not. Blood cultures were taken, and nothing is growing in the blood so that is good. Cat scan showed a lot of fluid under part of the incision scar and at the site where my drain was. Started a new antibiotic drip. This one is called Piperacilin and Tazobactam. With all my newly acquired medical expertise I know that the longer it takes to drip the more caustic it is. Good thing this one only take 6 hours for this tiny vial. The surgery group got called in and I had another little minor procedure done today to remove the fluid. It was amazing how much lighter my arm felt after fluid was pulled from my chest. The surgeon who came in today to do my work- about 34 and for you grays anatomy people very McDreamy. He was actually kind-of taken back when I watched the whole thing (needle going in and all). The fun part of today. My hair is officially falling out. Not little stands. If you were to walk into my room (805 ORMC) and you would think I had a long haired German shepherd under the bed. yep- that about should catch you up.
bumps: Prom was tonight, and I missed it. I missed being a chaperon. I said it. I like chaperoning prom.Not to mention, Steven looked so handsome when he came to see me before. Pinstriped dark gray suit, burgundy notes..a very bold statement. (I refuse to wear the standard black boring tux). It is however just a moment in time. But a moment I won't get back. On a slightly more cynical side. Since when is 3 oz of protein a serving size. Dear hospital nutritionist. I am a woman of girth who follows a very paleo diet. GIVE ME MORE PROTEIN. I feed my dog more protein than that and he weighs 17 pounds.
battles: I am 100% dependent on drugs that I can't pronounce to quite literally keep me alive. I am 100% dependent on the people (dr. nurses, techs) to administer them correctly or- yep I could die. Even though you they are going slowly going through an IV- I still taste and smell them.
Story: I remember things based on smell. I have always had a strong but sensitive olfactory system. Today, I kept inhaling knowing that the sent was not in my room but I could taste it..weird. For the longest time I could not place it- then it hit me. Seriously, I could not have been more that 5 when I went with mom and dad to a medical clinic on the coast in Honduras right after huracan FIFI. My job, because I was young was to count pills and put them in bags. It has to be antibiotic related, but I can smell it. I bet the people in the pharmacy wearing hazmat suits putting this IV solution together for me would call CPS for letting such a young child handle drugs.
blessings: I managed to get a set of papers graded today (hahahaha). Funny when I see the stack. very disproportional.
Despite the fact that I woke up in a foul mood (really it was bad), God turned it around once Doug got to the hospital.
The immediate relief felt in my arm when some of the fluid was removed. amazing
I took a shower-I realize that is not a big deal. But, it is when you are in the hospital and you have NO DRAINS- praise God!
Steven and friends came to see me before prom and besides looking amazing- you made my evening!
My brain was lazy today. I don't think it is "drug" related but it may be. Tomorrow. I am praying Hebrews 13:20 and 21. I need refocus, direction and strength. I need to fuel up. I really have nothing today, not over thinking anything just going to bed. Going to bed. tomorrow will be a new day.
The song I include is one of my favorites. General meaning: Be humble enough to be used by God. Enjoy!