I am so sorry I missed yesterday. I got some news that I was not real happy about and decided to sleep it off.
Today I had to have surgery to reopen the incision site and clean everything out and take some tissue to see what I am growing. So I did not get closed. So I am sitting in a hospital room with a 3X5 index card of open wound with a foam sponge (its black) and vacuum sealed. I am not kidding. I am hooked to a machine that is pulling out any fluid.
Due to this; chemo will have to wait. My hair is gone, but I still have my eyebrows and eye lashes so that is good.
That is a good picture for you- bald woman, gaping open wound in chest, and permanently attached to a vacuum sealer.
Bumps: It was John's birthday today. I wanted to serve him cake for breakfast and sufficiently embarrass him at school. Love you son. I threatened the anesthesiologist with permanent damage if he let anything happen to me on this day.
Battle: I have an hole in my heart. Spare me the country song lyrics I literally have a hole in my chest. A big one. Tomorrow the wound care team comes in to change the foam- sounds painful and I am a little scared. Had a little cry today because of pain-but, was able to suck it up.
Blessings: The nurses are fighting to take care of me. Pretty much because I have something new, that they do not see a lot and they get to use me as a training buddy.
I had visitors today. Mr Brinkley came by to see me in the morning (a students father, coworker, and hospital chaplain), Kelly and Tania and the Thompson's and my aunt Jo. Thank you all.
surgery went well. I handled the anesthetic better than normal. I was able to walk around before surgery and I made it a little prayer walk. I decided to pray for each of the patients, then the nurses, then the techs, then the cleaning crew, and the doctors and then specifically for each of my doctors.
After surgery I walked around- very gingerly. I feel like my insides could fall out of me.
So far I have been able to handle the pain with regular over the counter stuff but tonight-I think I will ask for something a little stronger.
Doug: It can not me more of a blessing to know that he has been here all day. He has handled the details I generally handle plus some extras (new tire for Steven ect) so he has been pretty solid.
the preachy moment:
I had so many responses about the line "we wear ourselves out chasing what we already have." I got it from the sermon on Sunday (Joel Hunter). It was not one of those bulleted ones but it caught my attention and obviously many of you as well. That one comment- kept me singing "holy ground", today. Because everywhere I step- is holy ground. pretty awesome.
I did something bold today. I am outgoing but generally not bold. Before they gassed me in surgery I made them stop. I prayed- out loud for each of them and for the surgery, I prayed Heather's prayer of spiritual armor that I have memorized. As I was praying I felt 3 sets of hands just lay their hands on me. It was a very powerful moment- Christ was definitely in that room.
to sum up I hurt, I am blessed!
song of the day
A child like-vacation bible school song yet every true
Costa Rica team you will like this
english- I want to shine for you , with all of your love and in that way the world will know your love