Thursday, May 3, 2012

So a new count down has begun

So now that chemo this week has been moved, I still have 5 more sessions bummer.  Let me tell you that the dread of which I approach each of those sessions, is nothing into comparison to meeting with my wound care specialist.  I have to go through that 7 or 8 more times, yeah- it is that bad.  My next paragraph is going to be graphic so if you get queasy-skip it.
  They turned of the suction, pealed a 8X 11 sheet of tape (surgical tape) off of my stomach and chest, and then coated me with saline. The wound dimensions are 7 inches by 4 inches by 1 inch deep.  Note, open wound and saline, literally they were pouring salt in a wound.  Then they start to pull a sponge out of the wound (it has started to adhere to the wound edges), once it is out they must measure for a new sponge, replace, retape and reattach suction.  All of this takes, about 20 minutes with out any sedation or pain killers.  What?  you say.  YES is my response.  I am woman, hear me roar.  Seriously, I have not felt pain like this since---oh never- childbirth was a piece of cake.  do keep in mind that I was completely knocked out for both of my children so that means absolutely nothing to me.  But, what I can tell you is that 20 minutes was not pleasant.  Next time, drugs first then wound change.

Bumps:  7 more wound changes- really- I will take the chemo- ANYDAY

battles: still cabin fever, I worry about my Doug.  do much on his shoulders right now and he seems unchanged.  I guess this is where being an emotional flat line helps.  Do not misunderstand, it is not that he has no emotions it is that they are always non visible.  

Blessings;  Friends that come to visit
I think it is a tremendous blessing that I am not squeamish.  Otherwise I would have passed out today.
Despite the pain, I am still amazed at our intricately made bodies.  Every system works together and for each other.  
I am also amazed at how much we really can tolerate.  It is always much more than we give ourselves credit for.  
I got sweet emails and text today that make you feel awfully special.

But it is 9:00and I am going to bed- what song shall I select tonight-

I think Mikeschair- you have got to read the lyrics


  1. Liesa, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Sending lots of prayers your way!!! Stay strong!