I have been spending a lot of time working on a quilt for Steven. I have managed to save all of his uniform tops since peewee baseball and now I am almost done. Every single square sent me on a emotional ride. I remembered where we lived, a lot about each season but most of all I remember the people. Coaches, parents teammates- we have been truly blessed to have shared some incredibly special moments with friends.
Tomorrow, I take Steven to a tournament in Fort Myers. I am excited a little bit, because I get to see the games. I will also get to see an es-student play a pro game. Probably going to scoot to Sanibel for an afternoon if I can. John and Doug will stay back.
Today, I worked in yard, early morning and mid afternoon. It felt so good. But the pool felt better. Did you guys catch that, I can get into the water. Incision still not completely closed yet (3months later) but I did get the OK to swim but only in my own pool. We won't even discuss bathing suits-
I will be more diligent to keep everyone up-to-date on how I feel.
bumps: I don't feel so sick but, it doesn't take long for tiredness to kick in and remind me that I indeed am going through chemo. I did not pick up one prescription for one day-that was a mistake...we will never "skip a dose" even for 8 hours again. What amazes me is how much chemo meds have changed over the last 5 years. They now can treat side effects with some pretty basic stuff but timing must be almost perfect. Still going on 15 pills X 2 a day but hey-it works. I also think that my diet helps- totally eliminated anything processed and most all grains. It is almost completely paleo with the exception that I still allow some dairy.
battles: This is going to sound ridiculous but it is bothering me and I might just be bitter. I have notice that very few people make eye contact with me. not friends, I am talking about, the cashiers, attendants at stores, people in restaurants, and even customer service rep at Norstroms of all places. First you battle to have men look at your eyes not your boobs and then when you don't have any- there is an awkward "oh heck, where do I send my eyes". You that know me, no that I will adjust and step into their line of vision, sometimes just to make them uncomfortable. Sometimes I will even take my hair,scarf or whatever off just to make it worse for them. I have walked out of the house with no "head covering" and it is hard for others. I am pretty comfortable in my own skin that I am not bothered my my bald head or flat chest. It is where I am right now, it is who I am. I can choose hair, I can choose to add "enhancements" to my chest but, I will not do it because someone else is uncomfortable with my cancer ridden body.
blessings: Family who comes to take care of you. Students who drop by "just because. Yard work. Steven pulling out the "pink bat" for senior pictures. Good weather. Today I saw three huge monarch butterflies- beautiful. I also saw a very pretty black and white spider with a unique web. I think I will take of picture of it tomorrow. This coming from a girl who doesn't like spiders- AT ALL.
so that about sums it up for you guys- I will check in tomorrow.